please don’t fuck up my chances of success by failing to promote me (my work) properly.
Be bold dear Gallery, be open minded, be generous, be fair!
Be tolerant with me, be understanding, be helpful!
(please also tell your assistants to be helpful too, they sometimes don’t answer my mails.)
please ignore the rumours of me being rude and particular,
I was only trying to make a point
and let us finally put the pool incident behind us
don’t put your hands on my thighs dear Gallery
it makes me feel as if you are not paying attention
I promise dear Gallery I will always put the odd work aside for you as long as you keep selling the rest.
I will support you – even when I am rich and famous – At the reception speech of my first MoMA show I will acknowledge you with a nod of the head. (Look out for that)
And when you get stabbed in the back and thrown out of Basel for no good reason you can always go for drinks with me. (you will have to pay)
ps: I promise to eat all of my Schnitzel from now on
ps2: I attach all of my telephone bills for 2010 – it got a little crazy – I know.